Blog Post #4

On Monday, it was my first day of internship and I was so excited about it. I have worked with youth of different ages but I usually work with youth between the ages of 18 months to seven years old.

On my first day of internship, I felt a little discouraged. I was working in the Primary Room of the school. I was off to a great start, then the kids started to arrive for the school day. They were so independent it scared me. I thought to myself "they don't even need me here, these children are so independent". I thought that maybe this internship was not the right fit for me because I was not any help to the teachers since the students were able to do things on their own.

I left that day and I felt horrible about myself because even though the teachers and the students were beyond awesome, I still felt as if I did nothing to be any type of help. The next day, I returned to internship, this time I was in the Toddler Room. I felt right at home here. The children were also independent for their ages, but they still needed help and relied on the adults in the room. Again, I thought to myself "okay, maybe this will not be too bad, at least I really like the toddler room". Since Tuesdays will be my long days at internship, I am split between the two classrooms so that afternoon I went back to the Primary Room and again, I felt like I was no help to the kids and they were fine on their own.

Lunch and rest time came. As the kids gathered their lunchboxes and chose a seat in the classroom, the teacher had asked me to go around and see who needed help. I was thrown back because I did not think that the kids would need help - I was wrong. So many of the kids came to me asking for help opening their containers, yogurts, fruit snacks, chips. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders because I was finally able to help the kids.

After I completed my hours for the day, on my drive back I started to reflect on my feelings. I realized that this was only my first week of internship and this is something that is new to me. I am used to working in public schools and it is completely different from a Montessori school. I realized that this was a learning experience. I had to learn that children do not always need help. They have to learn to be independent and do things on their own and this was how Montessori taught those very important lessons. I changed my attitude and declared that this internship was going to be a learning experience for myself and this is why I was doing it and this is what I wanted to get out of it.

I decided to start my blog off with this short reflection because it reminded me of when I was about 3 or 4 and everything was done for me. Adults have this tendency that they want children to be independent but then we lose the patience we get mad at THEM and end up doing the task for them and then when they do not know how to do something we also get mad because they rely so much on us. It is hard to understand that children, no matter how young, have a mind of their own and have to make their choices. When I was about this age, my mother did everything for me, she would try to do her best to let me learn things on my own but if she ran out of patience or was in a rush, she would take over the task. I was not able to completely make my own choice because I did not know how. Until I was about 8, my mother would still pick out my outfits, she would make my choices without even realizing she was doing it. I am so grateful that she was caring but when it came time for me to make my own choices, I was always so indecisive and unsure of what it was that I really wanted. I wish that my mother let me make my own choices when I was younger. I see this today in my little sister, she is 5 years old and since she was about 1 and a half, she was always very independent. I knew this was very difficult for my mom because she used to doing everything for her other 3 children. My little sister never let anyone take that choice away from her. She made her own choices and my mom and stepdad would only intervene if her choice was not safe or appropriate. My little sister was getting dressed on her own by the time she was 2, she knew how to put on her shoes before that. Now she can make her own snacks and knows how to make certain cold foods. She is so independent and it is amazing to watch her thrive!

As adults, we have to learn to have patience with children because they also are learning to have patience with themselves. Instead of rushing them or becoming frustrated when they are taking too long, we have to encourage them to keep going, step back and put our hands in our pockets and only help when they ask. They have to learn to be in control of their choices. I think if adults were more respecting about children's choices, children would be more independent and have less self-conflict.